Tuesday, April 14, 2009


I've got the blahs really bad. I have no idea what we're going to do next ttc-wise. I'm just not feeling so great about myself right now, but not for any particular reason. We need more money but the babysitting jobs are just not there right now because no one wants to spen any money they don't have to. I'm lucky that I'm as busy as I am. Unfortunately it doesn't quite cover what we need. I have no motivation to do anything, but I'm feeling so bored with my life and want something to be different. Being in school feels very much like being in limbo sometimes. Like I'm waiting for my real life to happen when I'm done. It's hard to just enjoy life as it is right now. There's so much that I'd like to be able to do that we just can't because we don't have the money for it because I'm in school. G and I have argued so much about stupid shit when it comes to money and I'm just tired of it. I'm tired of getting blamed every time the bank or whoever decides to wait too fucking long to put the charge through when I use the credit part of my card instead of ATM. I'm tired of feeling soley responsible for the fact that we don't have enough money right now. I mean, it's not like things are horrible right now, but as soon as someting happens that's not expected I get blamed. I don't want to be blamed for this shit any more. I don't know why he seems to think I don't care about this shit. 

I'm cranky and feel crappy about nearly everything even though I don't have very good reason to be. I hate this. Ugh.