Another School Year About to Start

As long as everything goes at it should and I keep my shit together, this will be my last year as an undergrad. I am excited about school because it means interacting with adults again and getting out of the house on a regular basis, having a schedule. It also means Cole is going back to school and playing with other kids, someone else gets to do diaper duty and clean up after him. Good stuff. We had a lot of fun this summer, but I didn't get out and take him to playgrounds as much as I wanted to. I am so bad at creating a schedule for myself when I don't have something to go and do. I have learned this summer that I am NOT cut out to be a stay at home mom and homemaker. Some women are good at that. I am not one of them. While I did love having that time with Cole, I feel like it is better for both of us when I am in responsible mode for school. I just allow myself to relax and slip back into bad habits over the summer. Cole's bed time was ridiculously late most of the summer. I am ready to initiate a nice regular bedtime so I can make sure he gets enough sleep. We'll see how that works out. *smirk*

I thought I was going to get more babysitting jobs over the summer. I applied for a few and only got a couple of responses. The problem is that I can't just drop what I am doing and meet with the parents for an interview whenever it's convenient for them. I have a kid too. Parents don't want to have to care about their babysitter's kids. So I ended up up getting a LOT less work than I imagined for the summer. Oh well. My former neighbor was (is?) interested in having me bring Cole to watch her LO (who is only 5 days younger than Cole) at her house a couple of days a week. At first she was talking about the end of August/Beginning of September. Now she is saying possibly October. She is a bit of a flake and I doubt it will happen. But it would be nice if it did happen because it bring in an extra $100 a week which would help so much. But besides the fact that she is a flake, I also have to worry about moving my car while babysitting unless I get a neighborhood parking permit. Without one, there is only 2 hour parking allowed in the neighborhood (almost all neighborhoods in SF have this) or I get a ticket. So, like I said, chances are this isn't going to happen. But a girl can hope, right?

Well, better get to bed. Big day tomorrow!

Just Livin' Life

School is kicking my butt this semester. My grades are decent enough, from what I know, but it's a bit overwhelming. I just never have enough time for anything. I keep putting off getting Cole's hair cut even though it badly needs it because I either don't have the time or don't have the money. It's frustrating. I have a few big papers and projects coming up and I am scared to death of them.

I also have a very long drive to southern California coming up the weekend after Thanksgiving that scares the shit out of me. 10-month-olds don't do very well on long car trips in general and Cole doesn't do well in cars. It's a month away and I am so, so nervous about this. I'm going to be in a wedding and I am also really nervous about how Cole will do during the wedding. I may end up having to hold him during the ceremony. Boy I hope it's a short one! The only other person Cole knows really well that will be there is also in the wedding. He's generally OK when it comes to strangers, but I am usually right there so he can go back to me if he gets nervous. Gah!!! I'm going to have to do most of the driving, too, so it's going to be an exhausting trip. The worst part is that I have to go to school the next day after we get back. Waaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!! I want so badly to be able to look forward to this wedding but I am absolutely dreading it. I can't say I am not able to go because that means my friend who is also in the wedding won't be able to go either unless she flies which she can't afford to do (neither can I, which is why we're driving). I hate, hate, hate that I am dreading one of my best friend's wedding and I feel like such a bad friend for it. Leaving Cole at home really isn't a good option because he won't sleep without me there which means G won't either. Plus I would have to pump like crazy to make sure there was enough milk for him and I would have to pump while I was in So Cal and I don't have any good way to store that milk. So it would basically end up being even more work to not bring Cole and just as stressful. We'll get through it and then it will be over with. *sigh*

Back to School

School started last week. but this week was my first full week of school. Mondays are the hardest because I'm in school for 8 hours and I really hate being away from Cole for so long. I have been so spoiled being able to be with him so much. I don't know how working mothers do it 5 days a week. My friend K is taking care of him which makes me feel tons better, but on Monday afternoon he was crying when I called to check in on them and it made me cry. I just wanted to leave school and go to him. I'm so glad I have this Monday off for Labor Day! It will get better, though, I'm sure. It is nice to be back on campus. Taking on-line classes is actually a lot harder in some ways. Plus, being on campus around other adults is good for me. I am taking an aerobics class which I love even though it's been kicking my butt so far. I sure hope it helps me lose some more of this baby weight!

I have finally started to be able to get Cole to soothe himself asleep again. It was hit and miss for awhile but he has been increasingly difficult to rock or nurse to sleep so I had little choice but to find another way. He actually just fell asleep for his morning nap. I have him on a slightly more consistent routine than I had been doing before which I think helps immensely. I was not consistent enough with our routine before and I know that made it harder for him to be able to get to sleep. Having a school schedule already in place helps me a lot with that.

Cole turns 8 months in a couple of weeks. He can do an army crawl really well. His movements are becoming a lot more organized into a cross-crawl patter even though he isn't up on his hands and knees yet. When he first started the army or belly crawl he would push mostly with one leg while the other dragged behind a little bit. Now he uses both legs and arms equally. I have heard about babies staying with the belly crawl and never moving to a standard crawl. I don't know if that's what Cole will do or not but it seems to me like he is progressing to a standard crawl. I have a feeling that in the next month he will start to get up on his hands and knees.

He has had his bottom 2 teeth since the first week of July. He actually got his first tooth on our wedding anniversary - June 29th. He got his 2nd tooth exactly a week later. Now his top right tooth is trying to come through. I believe the bottom right was the first one to come through. So it is happening in a very orderly fashion. It feels like his tooth is right there ready to pop through the gums any minute, but it could also still have another week to go. Poor bubs. Between teething and the recent hot weather we've been getting it has been hard for him to sleep. Which means I haven't been getting very good sleep either. The weather is cooling down a bit which hopefully means better sleep for all. This warm weather is our summer, actually. Too bad summer starts when school starts back. :o( Oh well, at least we get some semblance of warm weather, right?

Anyway, some pics of Cole from August:




Here are a couple from the 6-month photo shoot we did at home:

Totally Cliche, But Where Has the Time Gone?!

I can't believe I have posted since Cole was a month old. Now he is 3.5 months old. He will be 16 weeks tomorrow. It's amazing how fast these past couple of months have flown by! We went to San Diego when Cole turned 2 months to visit my family. My sister flew to SD from Texas so she could see her nephew too. That month between 2 months a 3 months really went by quickly. At 11 weeks (on April Fool's Day!) Cole laughed for the first time. His laugh is the cutest most magical sound, ever! He has rolled over a couple of times on his own but isn't doing it regularly yet. He loves to "talk" to us. His daddy is his hero. Cole watches him wherever he is in the room and just beams at him when he sees him. It is sooo cute. Now that classes are almost over I'm hoping I can keep better track of everything that is happening with him on here.

G and I got into it the other day about various stuff, us not giving each other enough support and attention, or at least not the kind we want. I've been having trouble dealing with my hormones. I was thinking it's PPD ( it still might be) but I just got my first postpartum af on Sunday so now I'm wondering if that's what it was. Ironically I got af on May 2nd and on May 1st last year is when I got the + pregnancy test that got me Cole. I was so disappointed about getting af, though, because I am exclusively breastfeeding. I wanted to be one of those women who go for a year or more after giving birth before getting their first postpartum af. Oh well. I did have a feeling deep down that I would not be that lucky.

Gotta post some pics of Cole:

One Month

Cole turned one month last Saturday. It's been crazy! I have the rare chance of having both hands free to post this. Don't have much time, though because I need to get him up. He's been sleeping awhile, which is rare, but I want him to be able to sleep tonight too! I have to say - motherhood is the most challenging but most wonderful thing I have ever done in my life!! Cole was diagnosed with reflux a few weeks ago but he seems to be doing much better now. I hope we can go off the reflux meds soon. He's growing so fast, it's crazy!! At his one month appointment Tuesday he weighed 10 lbs 10 oz and was 21.5 inches long. I can't remember his head circumference, but the doc said his length is just above the 50th percentile and his head size is in the 75th percentile. So my little man has a big head! No surprise there. He takes after his dad in that and so many other ways. He smiled for the first time at 3 weeks for his doctor when we were there for his reflux issue. The doc said she was putting that in his chart because he's advanced. I was such a proud mommy at that moment! I'm so glad we get blessed with those smiles because he can be quite a challenging baby. He's already starting to get better but he does not like to be put down hardly ever. I don't mind wearing him most of the time, but it is hard to get somethings done while he's attached to me, like eating or going to the bathroom. I just hope that I am helping him have a secure emotional attachment to us so that he doesn't feel the need to be attached to me physically all the time. Well, better go now. Hopefully I will find some time to write more later.

Oh, here's a pic of Cole from Saturday: