I can't believe I'm here. I have arrived at my due date and Baby Cole is still kicking and rolling and doing whatever it is he does in there. My closest loved ones call me every day to ask how I'm doing or how I'm feeling, if I think he will be here soon. On the one hand, I love that they are all nearly as eager as I am. On the other hand, it's driving me bat shit crazy! Poor G is going crazy himself, wondering when this is going to happen. He likes his life to be nice and predictable. Having to be in this wait and see place is nearly torture for him. If I don't go into labor before then, my next appointment is on Thursday. I will discuss scheduling an induction with the doc then. The nurse told me last week that they won't let me go longer than 10 days past my due date. So at the very latest Cole will be here by the 16th or 17th, depending on what time the induction is scheduled and how long labor takes. I very much do not want to be induced, so anyone reading this, please send some good vibes/prayers that Cole makes his appearance before then. My sis is coming into town Thursday morning and leaving the following Tuesday. It would be nice if Cole is born while she's here.
Oh yeah, one piece of awesome news: I got straight A's this semester! I have never done that in my life! I was hooting and hollering and jumping for joy when I saw my grades posted online. And to think I did that while pregnant and not taking any meds. Hopefully that trend will continue for the spring semester with my online classes. If so, I can see staying off my meds for good. I recognize that due to past depression and anxiety I am at risk for postpartum depression and have told my ob as well as Cole pediatrician about it so they can check in with me. But I feel pretty good about it as of right now. I really hope I am able to stay off my meds. That would be great.
In other news, last Tuesday my cousin did a maternity photo shoot with me. I've only seen one of the photos so far and I am absolutely dying to see the rest. Anyway, hopefully my next post will be announcing Cole's arrival. My maternity pic is below:
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Not everything sucks in my life. G's blood tests came back and he does not have the active virus. My blood tests also came back normal. None of that means very much, except that we don't have hep c. We are, however, getting another room mate. That means less space in the house and less privacy. It means having to shuffle all the rooms around again (and everything had just recently settled down after painting). Most of all it means moving backwards rather than forwards.
Today I realized that my first aid bag where I keep my meds is missing. No anti-anxiety/ depression meds and no ADD meds makes for a very ugly day. Of course my school's lost and found office isn't open until 2 pm Tuesdays and Thursdays. How helpful! Especially since my class starts at 2 pm on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Assholes.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
How is Clomid supposed to help me get pregnant if G and I are at each others throats because of the side-effects? It doesn't make me want to get romantic with him (like there's ever been romance 
) and it certainly discourages him from wanting anything to do with me. Normally we bd right after af is over. Not so much this time. No for lack of wanting to on my part. But I've been a royal bitch (but really trying not to be) and that makes for a husband that doesn't even want to talk to me let alone have sex with me. Ugh. I really, really hope this works because going through another cycle of this sounds about as much fun as sticking my fingers in a meat grinder.
Monday, July 21, 2008
When I saw my doc about the possibility of being bi-polar he agreed that I could have some of the symptoms, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it is bi-polar. He said he is more conservative with bi-polar diagnoses because of his experience while he was in training. He was at a clinic that encouraged bi-polar diagnoses because of the funding they could get. I was really grateful that he wanted to be conservative about it. I've been documenting my mood swings so I can tell him about them more accurately. So right now, that's kind of an on-going process. I still want to find a hypnotherapist but I want one that does regular talk therapy as well so I can get insurance to pay for it. Doing the research for that takes time I don't really have. But I do need to make it a priority.
I'm registered for some of my classes at SFSU. I went to orientation and was able to do it then. Going to orientation allowed me to register for classes before any new transfers who didn't go. That's kind of nice. As it turns out, I can't take any of their child development classes until I take Intro Psych. If I had known that I would have taken it at CCSF, but no one told me. Oh well, at least I was able to get in the Intro Psych class. There was only one class available when I registered. Apparently they're huge classes, though, so not too hard to get into. Having such a big class will probably make it harder to get to know th professor like I was able to at CCSF, but I'll make a point to do it anyway. I learned that it makes a big difference.
I had my HSG done Friday. It actually went well. Both tubes are open, although the right tube took longer to fill with liquid. They confirmed that there's a polyp or something. Said it was pea-sized. Still haven't heard from my OB/GYN if I'm supposed to do anything about it or not. I'll wait a few weeks for the HSG results to get in, then I'll call again and ask about it. I'm hoping the HSG helped open everything up and make it easier for my eggs to travel down the tubes. Maybe I'll get pg this cycle and not need the IUI? One can dream, can't they?
Sunday, June 29, 2008
It's a good thing we made it this week! It's been a rough one. But that's partially due to some hellacious mood swings I've been having this week. I'm beginning to suspect that I may have Bipolar II Disorder which is different from regular Bipolar Disorder because of the manic episodes. People who experience hypomanic episodes often have the following symptoms according to this site:
People in a hypomanic state may experience increased anxiety, sleeplessness, good mood, or irritability. The hypomanic state can last for four days or longer, and patients will note a significant difference in feelings from when they are in a depressed state.
Hypomania may also cause people to feel more talkative, result in inflated self-esteem, make people feel as though their thoughts are racing, and in some cases result in rash choices, such as indiscriminate sexual activity or inappropriate spending sprees. Often, the person who feels anxious or irritable and also has bouts of depression is diagnosed with anxiety disorder with depression , or merely anxiety disorder. As such, they do not receive the proper treatment, because if given an anti-depressant alone, the hypomanic state can progress to a manic state, or periods of rapid cycling of mood can occur and cause further emotional disturbance.
So My darling husband has agreed to go with me to my Psychiatrist appointment on Monday to help me describe to the doc what I've been going trough and what exactly has been happening. I talked to my friend about it who has known me quite well over the past 11 years and she agrees that it makes a lot of sense. The problem with Bipolar is that the meds are not very pregnancy friendly, so we'll have to seriously consider our options as far as that goes if Bipolar II is indeed the true diagnosis.
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