Just Livin' Life

Saturday, October 23, 2010

School is kicking my butt this semester. My grades are decent enough, from what I know, but it's a bit overwhelming. I just never have enough time for anything. I keep putting off getting Cole's hair cut even though it badly needs it because I either don't have the time or don't have the money. It's frustrating. I have a few big papers and projects coming up and I am scared to death of them.

I also have a very long drive to southern California coming up the weekend after Thanksgiving that scares the shit out of me. 10-month-olds don't do very well on long car trips in general and Cole doesn't do well in cars. It's a month away and I am so, so nervous about this. I'm going to be in a wedding and I am also really nervous about how Cole will do during the wedding. I may end up having to hold him during the ceremony. Boy I hope it's a short one! The only other person Cole knows really well that will be there is also in the wedding. He's generally OK when it comes to strangers, but I am usually right there so he can go back to me if he gets nervous. Gah!!! I'm going to have to do most of the driving, too, so it's going to be an exhausting trip. The worst part is that I have to go to school the next day after we get back. Waaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!! I want so badly to be able to look forward to this wedding but I am absolutely dreading it. I can't say I am not able to go because that means my friend who is also in the wedding won't be able to go either unless she flies which she can't afford to do (neither can I, which is why we're driving). I hate, hate, hate that I am dreading one of my best friend's wedding and I feel like such a bad friend for it. Leaving Cole at home really isn't a good option because he won't sleep without me there which means G won't either. Plus I would have to pump like crazy to make sure there was enough milk for him and I would have to pump while I was in So Cal and I don't have any good way to store that milk. So it would basically end up being even more work to not bring Cole and just as stressful. We'll get through it and then it will be over with. *sigh*