Saturday, October 18, 2008


G tested + for hep c, so there's a good chance we may have to put off ttc for 6-12 months. I am very, very sad about this. G is already HIV + (as you may remember) and we were going forward with ttc with our doctors blessing based on the premise that he has no other infection and we would only be unprotected while I was fertile. We both were tested for all STD's 7 years ago when we found out about his HIV status (he was applying for life insurance) He is a recovered IV drug user, has been clean and sober for 15 years. At the time he tested + for HIV his t-cell count was so low he technically had AIDS even though he was asymptomatic. It's quite possible that his immune system was so depleted that he wasn't able to produce antibodies for hep c and that's why he didn't test + for it 7 years ago. Fast forward to this year. We're preparing for IUI and find out about the hep c now. Great timing.

We're waiting for his secondary blood tests to see if he has the active virus in his system. His chances of that are about 80-90% likely. So I got tested too. The treatment for hep c lasts 6-12 months and the drugs used can cause severe birth defects.

So, if we get his blood tests back by Monday and if he doesn't have the active virus in his system, we can move forward with IUI. By the look on my doctor's face yesterday the chances of us moving forward on IUI this cycle are extremely slim. The chances of us being able to ttc at all in the next 6-12 months isn't looking so good either. This whole ttc business keeps getting put off and put off and put off for so many different reasons. I can't help but wonder why I'm even bothering? Yes, I've wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember, but that's obviously not what's happening for me. I need to just accept what is and quit trying to force something that's probably just not going to happen.