Moving Forward?

Saturday, October 4, 2008


I started temping again this cycle to prepare myself for an IUI next cycle. Of course my temps were better than they've ever been. I actually got to the point where I thought the IUI might not be necessary. Pair the awesome temps with a couple of really dark evaporation lines on hpt's that almost looked +, I nearly had myself convinced I was pregnant. But then the last few tests I took were blaring white negatives and this morning's temp plummeted. So much for not needing that IUI. Of course I was hoping we'd be able to get pregnant the old-fashioned way. I used to have such romantic notions of what conceiving my child would be like. I was sure I would know the moment I conceived. That naivete was nice. *sigh* I have to admit that I'm jealous of women who are able to keep that innocence.

I'm going to have to fill my clomid prescription in a few days. Oh boy. Looking forward to those symptoms. eyeroll bang Honestly, though. I just want to be a mom. I'm willing to do what it takes to get there.


Milenka said...

*hug* You know I wish you all of the luck in the world, sweetie. Maybe my way (not giving up, no matter what the cost to myself or my relationships) wasn't the right way because it hurt an awful fucking lot, but it was worth it. More than worth it. No matter what you decide to do in the future, I will support your decisions, and my greatest wish for you is that you experience for yourself how worth it the fight is. I just hope it gets easier soon for you! *sigh*