So, What Now?

Sunday, January 4, 2009


That's exactly what I've been asking myself. IUI #2 didn't work either. I'll probably ovulate over the weekend this cycle, so no IUI for me. I'm thinking maybe I should ask my ob/gyn for a referral to a reproductive specialist. I need more help than the ob/gyn office can provide. Unfortunately that also means I'll probably need to spend more money, too. I hope my insurance will continue to cover at least 50% of everything like they have been. I've been lucky. Maybe I can try some things on my own, like maca root. I feel desperate. I wish I knew what my body needed. It's like a puzzle I can't figure out because I don't even know what kind of puzzle it is, or what it's asking me to do.

The only thing I keep hearing in my head is "No expectations." Over and over again. What does that mean? Why no expectations? I think I know why, but it's so hard. No expectations... It's hard to let go. No expectations... I have to at least try. No expectations...


Milenka said...

I know I'm behind, but I want to offer hugs and a shoulder if you want to email me. I remember this feeling well. Not knowing where to go from erhe. Not being able to afford the big guns but not wanting to give up, either. *sigh* I hope every single day that your story will end similar to mine. Without the complications, of course, but with the persistence paying off with a healthy baby - or three. We love you, Carrie, and we are pulling for you over here in Michigan. *hug* The hardest thign i ever had to do eventually became the most rewarding. I can only hope that you follow suit.