6th Wedding Anniversary

It's a good thing we made it this week! It's been a rough one. But that's partially due to some hellacious mood swings I've been having this week. I'm beginning to suspect that I may have Bipolar II Disorder which is different from regular Bipolar Disorder because of the manic episodes. People who experience hypomanic episodes often have the following symptoms according to this site:

People in a hypomanic state may experience increased anxiety, sleeplessness, good mood, or irritability. The hypomanic state can last for four days or longer, and patients will note a significant difference in feelings from when they are in a depressed state.

Hypomania may also cause people to feel more talkative, result in inflated self-esteem, make people feel as though their thoughts are racing, and in some cases result in rash choices, such as indiscriminate sexual activity or inappropriate spending sprees. Often, the person who feels anxious or irritable and also has bouts of depression is diagnosed with anxiety disorder with depression , or merely anxiety disorder. As such, they do not receive the proper treatment, because if given an anti-depressant alone, the hypomanic state can progress to a manic state, or periods of rapid cycling of mood can occur and cause further emotional disturbance.

So My darling husband has agreed to go with me to my Psychiatrist appointment on Monday to help me describe to the doc what I've been going trough and what exactly has been happening. I talked to my friend about it who has known me quite well over the past 11 years and she agrees that it makes a lot of sense. The problem with Bipolar is that the meds are not very pregnancy friendly, so we'll have to seriously consider our options as far as that goes if Bipolar II is indeed the true diagnosis.

Nothin' Special

So I got my cd 3 blood work done on Monday. I also found out that my progesterone was 21.5. My instincts kept telling me it was going to be 21, so I guess I was right. So if I have normal progesterone, why is my luteal phase irregular? Maybe the cd 3 blood work will give me some answers. I'm scheduled for a u/s on the 30th and I have the lab sheet for the hsg. I might go ahead and get that done next Tuesday.

I'll be in San Diego this weekend for my cousin's wedding. That should be nice. I'm looking forward to enjoying San Diego's nice weather. I'll also get to see my BFF which will be fabulous. My sister won't be there, though and I'm pretty bummed about that. It's been too long since I've seen her and I miss her terribly. We talk on the phone all the time, but it's just not the same. It will be really nice to see the rest of the family, though. I haven't seen them since my grandpa's memorial service last September.

I need to get a birthday present for one of the kids I babysit. Her 4th birthday was yesterday. I love shopping for stuff like that. It's so fun. Well, I can't think of anything else, so I guess I'll just sign off.

Money Crap Sucks

G has been sulking all day because we got in this stupid fight this morning about money. It all started with the stupid dust pan. The last one we had sucked and was falling part. It wouldn't pick up anything and we really needed a new one but couldn't afford a good one. So I just picked on up at the dollar store. This one sucks too, but it works. G was yelling at me for buying it because he says it was a waste of money. I said it was better than not having one at all and I didn't see him going out and getting one. He said getting an equally crappy dustpan isn't better either. Then he started going about how I always waste 5 bucks here and 10 bucks there. So I said "Oh, right, it's better to waste 50 bucks at a time." I was referring to the $50 hair cuts he gets every other week. He got mad at me for throwing that in his face saying he's a grown man and works hard and that's the only he does that's not for us. But that's not true. He spends money on just himself more often than I do. He thinks that because he makes more money than me he's entitled to use more of it, regardless of whether we can afford it. He wants to act like we're equal partners when it comes to my money, but not his. Oh I don't know. I'm sure there are areas I could cut back, but I sure would like to see him cut back, too. I'm sorry but while I'm school, it's just not practical to get a $50 hair cut every other week. When I'm employed full-time, sure, but until then, why do I have to be the only one sacrificing? His problem is that he spent most of his life being a criminal so whenever he needed money he'd just go get it. Now he has to work for much less and it's hard. He's not used to not having whatever he wants. I've never had whatever I wanted. My whole life I've had to work hard to barely get by. I'm used to it. He better get used to it too, if he wants to stay married to me. He just needs to realize that life is not going to be easy financially until I'm out of school. That's just the way it is. Especially living in San Francisco.

I love this time of year. Summer is my favorite season. A few weeks ago I was griping about the cold windy weather saying I wanted my summer weather. Well, I sure got my wish! This past week has been absolutely gorgeous! Man I love this. I so needed it. I've had my infertility consult and have done my progesterone bloods. Now I'm just waiting for af to start any minute/day now so I can schedule my day 14 u/s and a hsg. My doc (Dr. K) said to also get some bloods done on cd 2 or 3 so I guess it depends on if one of those days happens on a day the lab is closed. If that doesn't matter I'll decide based on how much spotting I get before the actual flow. If there's a lot of spotting (like a day or 2) I'll go on cd 2 but if I just start with a regular flow, I'll go on cd 3. I should call the lab to find out the progesterone results. Yeah sure, I'll get right on that. Damn, I'm lazy. I love summer.