I Must Be a Glutton for Punishment

Monday, May 12, 2008

 

I can't believe I agreed to babysit yesterday.On top of that, I had two babysitting jobs, back to back. What I really wanted to do was hide away from all the moms and kids at home. I further tortured myself by taking a cheapie hpt last night, which of course was negative. Today my breasts are less sore and getting smaller as the day goes on, so it's pretty safe to say that I'll be bleeding by tomorrow, Wednesday at the latest. For not being able to get pregnant, my body is way to damn predictable. Why is my stupid space bar not working today??? Anyway, I told G that my period will probably be here tomorrow. He hugged me when I got home and had some tears in his eyes. That probably breaks my heart more than anything else, seeing how hard it is for him too. My infertility appointment is 5/27. I had it scheduled for4/23 but had to reschedule because of Bren's surgery. I'm just waiting for the next thing to come up that will make me cancel this appointment too. After all, that's been the precedent so far. I have been waiting to get this testing done since DECEMBER. How much fucking longer is this bullshit going to take? I'm getting to the point where I just don't want to bother with any of it anymore.I don't want to think about it anymore. If my fucking space bar keepsthis shit up I'm going to throw the fucking computer down the fucking stairs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3 comments:

Barb said...

Hi! Thanks so much for stopping by my blog and leaving a note. It was really kind of you to give me such support.

I'm sorry about your negative. :( They just seem to pile up until you can't even count them anymore don't they?

Your page is lovely. I have a little difficulty reading the words (color maybe?) but I do love the colors together. I read about your whole situation and all I can say is that you have a lot of strength and I wish the best for both of you.

Milenka said...

Hey, sweetie! Any progress with the testing, or does life keep throwing stalling crap in your way? I'm not online as much as I'd like with this reclining thing, but I'm thinking of you! *hugs*

FeyIndigoWolf said...

Thanks for stopping by, Barb! Also, thanks for letting me know about the words being hard top see. I'll see if I can fix that.

Hi Milenka! I'll do a post about the testing thing...