Totally Cliche, But Where Has the Time Gone?!

I can't believe I have posted since Cole was a month old. Now he is 3.5 months old. He will be 16 weeks tomorrow. It's amazing how fast these past couple of months have flown by! We went to San Diego when Cole turned 2 months to visit my family. My sister flew to SD from Texas so she could see her nephew too. That month between 2 months a 3 months really went by quickly. At 11 weeks (on April Fool's Day!) Cole laughed for the first time. His laugh is the cutest most magical sound, ever! He has rolled over a couple of times on his own but isn't doing it regularly yet. He loves to "talk" to us. His daddy is his hero. Cole watches him wherever he is in the room and just beams at him when he sees him. It is sooo cute. Now that classes are almost over I'm hoping I can keep better track of everything that is happening with him on here.

G and I got into it the other day about various stuff, us not giving each other enough support and attention, or at least not the kind we want. I've been having trouble dealing with my hormones. I was thinking it's PPD ( it still might be) but I just got my first postpartum af on Sunday so now I'm wondering if that's what it was. Ironically I got af on May 2nd and on May 1st last year is when I got the + pregnancy test that got me Cole. I was so disappointed about getting af, though, because I am exclusively breastfeeding. I wanted to be one of those women who go for a year or more after giving birth before getting their first postpartum af. Oh well. I did have a feeling deep down that I would not be that lucky.

Gotta post some pics of Cole:

One Month

Cole turned one month last Saturday. It's been crazy! I have the rare chance of having both hands free to post this. Don't have much time, though because I need to get him up. He's been sleeping awhile, which is rare, but I want him to be able to sleep tonight too! I have to say - motherhood is the most challenging but most wonderful thing I have ever done in my life!! Cole was diagnosed with reflux a few weeks ago but he seems to be doing much better now. I hope we can go off the reflux meds soon. He's growing so fast, it's crazy!! At his one month appointment Tuesday he weighed 10 lbs 10 oz and was 21.5 inches long. I can't remember his head circumference, but the doc said his length is just above the 50th percentile and his head size is in the 75th percentile. So my little man has a big head! No surprise there. He takes after his dad in that and so many other ways. He smiled for the first time at 3 weeks for his doctor when we were there for his reflux issue. The doc said she was putting that in his chart because he's advanced. I was such a proud mommy at that moment! I'm so glad we get blessed with those smiles because he can be quite a challenging baby. He's already starting to get better but he does not like to be put down hardly ever. I don't mind wearing him most of the time, but it is hard to get somethings done while he's attached to me, like eating or going to the bathroom. I just hope that I am helping him have a secure emotional attachment to us so that he doesn't feel the need to be attached to me physically all the time. Well, better go now. Hopefully I will find some time to write more later.

Oh, here's a pic of Cole from Saturday:

Cole Daniel's Birth Story + Pics

I was scheduled for induction at 7 pm Tuesday night. DH, and my two best friends went with me to get the party started. I was lucky and got the nicest birthing room on the floor. It was quite spacious and had a bath tub, which I was very happy about. Too bad I never actually got to use the bath tub. They started me off with misoprostal Tuesday night. It did help me progress and dilate me but very, very slowly. The doctor broke my water the following morning to see if that would help me progress any faster. It didn't. I was given the pitocin drip at 11 am Wednesday morning. They started me off at 1 and I handled the contractions fine. Then they increased me to a 3. Shortly after that the cx were overwhelmingly strong. It was nothing like I had ever experienced in my life. I realized after 4 or 5 really strong cx that were close together that there was no way I was going to last another 6-8 hours with that kind of pain. That's when I ordered the epidural. That was a wonderful relief, even if I was a little disappointed that I would not be having the med-free birth I had envisioned. Turned out it was a good thing I had done the epidural.

Once I was finally fully dilated I started pushing. I pushed for an hour but made no progress at all. His head just could not get past my pelvic bones. There was a point when dh and my 2 bff's could see his hair, but he just would not go any further. Not only that but his heart kept deceling with the contractions, especially if I laid on either side. After that hour of pushing the doc came back in and told us that it was time to do a c-section. They were concerned about the decels and did not believe I was going to progress any further than I had.

When I got the news I was so disappointed. I so very much did not want to have a c-section. It took me awhile to compose myself. They told me what to expect, and the doctor told my dad and step-mom for us because I didn't want dh to leave my side. They wheeled me in in to the operating room once it became available and started prepping me. The anesthesiologist was telling funny stories while he was doing his thing which helped me immensely. Once I was all prepped, they brought dh in and started the c-section. Oh boy was that uncomfortable. All the pushing and tugging and pressure I felt floored me. I kept my eyes closed almost the whole time just so I could cope with what was happening to my body. When they were ready to pull the baby out, I opened my eyes to watch dh's face. They had asked him if he wanted to watch while they pulled him out and he said yes, to my surprise. He is normally a bit squeamish when it comes to stuff like that. First I heard them say he had a big head and dh's eyes got really wide. He said "Wow! He really does have a big head! That's a big head!" I then heard the doctors say something about nuchal cord. Turns out the cord was wrapped around Cole's neck twice. They showed him to me very quickly over the curtain but I wasn't able to touch him yet. His cry, though, was the most beautiful sound I have ever heard in my life. They asked dh if he wanted to cut the cord but he declined. He said his hands were too shaky. They cleaned him and wrapped him in a blanket, then they brought him over to me and laid his head on my shoulder.I was immediately in love and was sad I couldn't hold him for awhile. I was shaking so bad from the everything I couldn't have held him anyway. They wheeled me away to the recovery room where I needed more pain meds and something (morphine, I think) to help with the shaking. After awhile I was able to drift off to sleep for a couple of hours. DH brought Cole into the recovery room for me to spend time with him before I was brought up to the post-partum room for the rest of my stay. I was not allowed to have him room-in with me that first night because of my catheter and epidural, but the next night and the rest of my stay I did. We came home with him Sunday. We were (and are) both so in love. It was such an amazing and overwhelming experience.

Cole right after birth:


With me in postpartum:


Snuggling with Daddy:


First day home, holding his godmother's finger:

40 Weeks Tomorrow

I can't believe I'm here. I have arrived at my due date and Baby Cole is still kicking and rolling and doing whatever it is he does in there. My closest loved ones call me every day to ask how I'm doing or how I'm feeling, if I think he will be here soon. On the one hand, I love that they are all nearly as eager as I am. On the other hand, it's driving me bat shit crazy! Poor G is going crazy himself, wondering when this is going to happen. He likes his life to be nice and predictable. Having to be in this wait and see place is nearly torture for him. If I don't go into labor before then, my next appointment is on Thursday. I will discuss scheduling an induction with the doc then. The nurse told me last week that they won't let me go longer than 10 days past my due date. So at the very latest Cole will be here by the 16th or 17th, depending on what time the induction is scheduled and how long labor takes. I very much do not want to be induced, so anyone reading this, please send some good vibes/prayers that Cole makes his appearance before then. My sis is coming into town Thursday morning and leaving the following Tuesday. It would be nice if Cole is born while she's here.

Oh yeah, one piece of awesome news: I got straight A's this semester! I have never done that in my life! I was hooting and hollering and jumping for joy when I saw my grades posted online. And to think I did that while pregnant and not taking any meds. Hopefully that trend will continue for the spring semester with my online classes. If so, I can see staying off my meds for good. I recognize that due to past depression and anxiety I am at risk for postpartum depression and have told my ob as well as Cole pediatrician about it so they can check in with me. But I feel pretty good about it as of right now. I really hope I am able to stay off my meds. That would be great.

In other news, last Tuesday my cousin did a maternity photo shoot with me. I've only seen one of the photos so far and I am absolutely dying to see the rest. Anyway, hopefully my next post will be announcing Cole's arrival. My maternity pic is below:

The Nursery is Done!

I feel a huge sense of relief with the nursery being done. I was feeling rather anxious about it. I was going to try to put the crib/changing table combo together myself, but there was just no way. So G came to my rescue. I did put a lot of it together on my own, but once I got to the main crib parts it got too awkward for me to handle alone. We still need to get curtains for the room because the blinds are old and starting to fall apart. But at least all the big stuff is done. So anyway, here are some pics of the nursery. By the way, the bassinet will be going in our bedroom, but I liked the way it looked in the pics.

Where Has the Time Gone??!!

I have 5 weeks left until my due date - 35 days!!!! Time is just flying by! Thanksgiving was great. I got to see a lot of my family that lives around the Bay Area, whom I don't get to see very often, since I don't have a car (and we're all busy). I also had my second baby shower on Saturday. My friend K's mom threw the shower for me. It was lots of fun. Great food, fun games, and awesome presents I must say. Now I just need to get through the rest of classes and finals in the next few weeks, then I can devote all my energy to getting Cole's things washed and put away and setting his nursery up. We ordered the crib yesterday and should be getting that this weekend or beginning of next week. We also bought a washer & drier that we should be getting on Friday. I am so happy that we are getting close to having everything ready. G said yesterday that he is starting to get butterflies in his stomach in regards to Cole's arrival. I've been feeling them. But it does seem like they're getting stronger the closer we get. I e-mailed my professor for my on-line class, explaining that I will be 37 weeks the day of our final, asking what I should do if I happen to g o into labor or I'm in the hospital that day. He told me to just send him an e-mail if I can and he would give me an incomplete so I can schedule a later time to take the final. I'm glad to have some kind of plan in place, but I've been telling Cole that he really needs to stay in there until after finals are over. And he needs to stay healthy!!

Here is a picture taken of me at my baby shower Saturday:

Plus here's one of just my big belly:

Only 10 1/2 Weeks Left

I can't get over how fast time is flying by! A lot of women are saying that time is dragging by for them, but so far I guess I've been lucky. Of course being in school full time and working part time helps keep my mind occupied. I have been really lucky that physically I haven't been very uncomfortable or had many difficulties. Knock on wood that things stay this way for the rest of the pregnancy! I know that as I get bigger, things will get more difficult, but, I just feel so blessed.

At my appointment last Monday, I had gained 12 lbs since my previous appointment. The nurse said I need to start watching what I eat, cut way down on the sugar, cut way down on the refined carbs and stick to complex carbs and whole wheat and stuff like that. So I think I've been much better about it, but wow does this kid have a sweet tooth! I have never had that much of a sweet tooth, but it seems like all I want are cookies and candy bars lately! With Halloween coming Saturday I may have to indulge a little. But I shall behave myself until then.

That's all that's going on so far. G took this pic of me last night: